27 May Feedback, reflection and perspective
Last year I presented an in-person workshop, introducing our Smart Books PACE framework (something you’ll be hearing more about over time). Overall, it was well received. The room was engaged, the discussion flowed, and most of the feedback afterwards was genuinely encouraging. I left that session feeling proud of the work and confident in the value of what I had shared. But there was one piece of feedback that was less glowing. I noticed how quickly that single comment stood out in my mind.
Around the same time, I was receiving positive comments from Smart Bookies (the bookkeeper membership I operate) about why they value their membership, and kind words from long‑standing clients who had just been notified of a sizeable price increase. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting positivity for this last group – fee increases rarely attract compliments. And yet, there they were. I was genuinely surprised by how supportive and affirming those messages were.
That mix of inputs made me pause. I could feel myself needing to slow down and sit with the comments I’d received.
Despite the overwhelming majority being positive, it was that one piece of constructive feedback that lingered. It sat with me longer than it probably should have. Imposter syndrome made a brief but familiar appearance. The internal questions started bubbling up. Did I miss something? Was I off the mark? Could I have done better? I recognised that this reaction wasn’t new, just familiar in a different setting.
The honest answer was yes – there was merit in the feedback. And yes – I could have done better in places. That realisation didn’t come instantly though. It came after sitting with the discomfort rather than pushing it away. I had to give myself time to reflect rather than react.
Thinking about it afterwards, a few key insights emerged. I realised this situation was offering me a learning moment, whether I chose to take it or not.
Judgement versus growth
It’s very easy to hear feedback as judgement – especially when we care deeply about what we do. When something we’ve created represents our values, experience, and effort, even well‑intentioned feedback can feel personal. The challenge is to separate ourselves from the work. Feedback is about the output, not our worth. When we can make that shift, it becomes far more useful. I could see how emotionally invested I was, and how that shaped my initial response.
Identity and investment
The more invested we are, the louder the emotional response can be. That’s not a weakness – it’s often a sign that we’re committed. But it does mean we need to slow our reaction. Instead of seeing feedback as a threat, I’m learning to treat it as an invitation. A nudge to step outside my comfort zone, refine my delivery, or see something from a different angle. I reminded myself that growth usually sits just beyond what feels comfortable.
Data – not diagnosis
One of the most helpful reframes for me was this – feedback is data, not a diagnosis. It’s simply information – one data point among many. Appreciating it doesn’t mean agreeing with all of it, and it certainly doesn’t mean we need to defend ourselves. When we view feedback as information that helps us fine‑tune and improve, it loses much of its sting. I consciously chose to listen rather than defend.
What struck me most in this process was the contrast between that single piece of criticism and the broader picture. When we zoom out, patterns matter more than isolated moments. Yet as humans, we’re wired to fixate on the outliers – especially the uncomfortable ones. I noticed how easily I had discounted consistent positive feedback in favour of one dissenting view.
Reflection doesn’t mean spiralling into self‑doubt or over‑analysis. When done intentionally, it becomes a powerful tool for growth. It helps us recalibrate without catastrophising. It allows us to acknowledge what went well and what could be better – without diminishing either. I felt a shift once I allowed both things to exist at the same time.
I’ve come back to this quote more than once as I processed my own experience:
“Feedback is a free education to excellence. Seek it with sincerity and receive it with grace.’– Ann Marie Houghtailing – Author, storyteller and visual artist
That’s the balance I’m working towards. Staying open. Staying reflective. And remembering that growth rarely comes from comfortable praise alone. I’m choosing to see feedback as part of my ongoing evolution, not a verdict on my capability.